Thrilling Numbness

In search of better, we all load ourselves with motives and motivation and little do we know about the emotional luggage that we carry accidentally! It does not matter how much it weighs, it is anyway gonna make you feel heavy. At times, we find ourselves happy with two people and say to ourselves that it feels right and that other times we feel lonely and our rat eyes keep searching for a familiar face, a hope, a friend, a human a something that connects. Content. Content is the answer to our needs and countless searches. We often forget how content we are. Every morning we hustle for that BETTER. Better what we don't know. Maybe, a better job, better salary, better opportunity, be better in life, better peace of mind. Our goals are pretty clear at times and become a blur on rainy days too! We often lose track and track of time too. "It's is not too late", is one of my favourite quotes not because it gives hope, but it makes me feel content. A belief for that rainy day when my goals are unclear, assuring me that something still awaits for me.

How many times have I lost myself, perhaps countless? Hopes died. Lost connections, contacts and people too. Been through phases in life - Dark and Darker too. We all are allowed to give up when we feel like but we don't. We try, one last in a hope that it might be it. That is you, filled with content. I never chose to get up and finish the race, but something made me do it anyway. I like this theory since a kid that that life is like a surprise box. No one knows what is inside and we all must wait. Sometimes it is what we like and sometimes it leads to something we don't want to keep it. But that doesn't mean we give up. There could be one bad surprise but a lot more awaits. Be thrilled by what each day is gonna bring you. If not morning your night can bring one too. Somedays there could be nothing in surprise, don't get upset, your turn is just due. You are in the queue. Be patient and cultivate patience in yourself. Collect memories. Let bygones be bygones with a good memory. We don't want to waste the headspace by stocking a pile of garbage because there are a lot of good ones still upcoming. Miss people. Love people but more importantly love yourself.

When you venture out in a search of better and things don't work out as you planned then wait, TRUST THE TIME. There are lessons we all need to learn and that is why things are not working out. I have often received that, "how great your life is", but little do they know about the numbness. The days that make me feel completely numb, confused, lost and helpless. I cry to bed and wake up all bloated. But then, still go to work, manage to put a smile on my face and survive the day. There will always be that one tiny moment in that day that will hold you back from giving up! Catch that. The next day, maybe another surprise. Just hang in there. This life is long and we don't have enough time to waste. :P

Remember, when it is not your time, no one can help you and when it is your time then no one can stop you.

I know it is easier said than done but do it anyway. I did and so will you.

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